How can I overcome his "problem"?

9 posts on this thread and the last post was on November 19th, 2004 1:12 PM by .

als - November 15th, 2004 3:17 PM

My boyfriend and i want a baby A LOT but can't seem to have one. we're young and have a healthy sex life but he smokes weed and drinks often...i know that this affects his sperm but is there anything I can do to overcome this problem? he doesn't want to give it up because "he wants to have fun"...sounds bad but we really want a baby - i will do anything for one!!

j - November 15th, 2004 5:27 PM

Are you planning on getting married? Be sure you're ready to spend your entire life with someone before you have a baby. Also, could he be a devoted and involved dad if he's off drinking and smoking weed lots? You don't want to put yourself in a position where he's off "having fun" all the time and you're stuck at home caring for a baby on your own. Maybe wait until he's ready or find a more devoted man.

als - November 15th, 2004 5:36 PM

we are planning on getting married...i know where you are coming from with the concern of him being a good dad but i know him - we've been together awhile - and he'd never leave me on my own with his baby...he's a wonderful person...yes, he wants to have fun but he's 22 and is willing to stop once we knows we're gonna have a baby

I would wait till he grows up - November 15th, 2004 7:29 PM

before trying to have a child or a life with him! Trust me I used drugs for 15 years its a terrible life and his usage will destroy you and anyone else who tries to love him.

sabra - November 15th, 2004 7:30 PM

Hi , I would like to invite you to visit our message board. Its small enough to give individual attention to everyone’s post yet big enough to be supportive and informative. I know that TTC is a an exciting and sometimes heartbreaking journey. It’s so much better when you have someone along. Just join in anytime I know you will love it.
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just me - November 16th, 2004 7:07 PM

and you want this guy for a father.. please reconsider...

Nicki - November 17th, 2004 7:59 AM

Hi ALS, where are you from?

I used to be with someone exactly the same, and we did want children. It is harder to conceive, try pointing out to him that it will reduce your chance of conceiving. At least ask him to cut down? That alone can help. Shout out if you want someone to listen or I can give you my email address.

als - November 18th, 2004 12:38 PM

thanks so much nicki...i talked to him about cutting down and he agreed to do that after i pointed out he'd have to cut way down if we ended up having a baby...i'd love to talk more to you!!

Nicki - November 19th, 2004 3:00 AM

I understand what its like to want a baby. I also understand how hard a drug to stop weed is. My email is elisepurple@yahoo.co.uk. Email me whenever you like or leave another message here ok.

. - November 19th, 2004 1:12 PM

I'm picturing you going into labor with a drunk/high man there beside you in the hospital room. I hope to hell he'll at least give it up while your pregnant!

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