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Yes, I am in the US (Dallas). England? Very cool. My brother just moved back to the states from London. What is a Bupa? My dh ("dear husband") copes much better than I do. He thinks I should just not worry about it and that we will get pg. It is finally starting to hit him how serious this is with my fsh results a couple months ago and the last 2 BFNs. Absolutely no on in my "real" life even knows we are ttc. So, this board is all of my support. It has really kept me sane! I know what you mean about being "too" positive--I don't want to set myself up for a bigger disappointment. I have put it into perspective by just thinking, "I am going to do everything possible to get pg, and if it doesn't work, I will deal with it after I try everything." My dr hasn't said anything about why the iuis didn't work. Do you have much support in your real life? Have you already discussed the ivf process with your dr? I am surprised they checked your fsh at cd21. The time to check that is cd3, which is the day your fsh is highest. I've also read that your fsh can fluctuate from month to month, so maybe getting pg will happen on months when it is lower. Hopefully we will both end up pg like your friend!

Hey ya'll...I think you're right about prayers....I am from the Houston area...Good luck to both of you....Babydust******

Not sure if you are there today Ann...? Bupa is the name of a chain of private hospitals here in the UK. The test they did on day 21 was not FSH it was a test to see if I had ovulated and they said I had. On that basis they did not prescribe clomid as I think that is a drug designed for women who need help to ovulate.
My FSH test was done on day 2 (as directed by my doctor). When he called me with the result I did say there was a chance that it was more like day 1 or 1 and 1/2 and is it possible that the result was wrong? He said it was possible but not very likely.
I think if your FSH level is high one month and low the next it does not make a difference - if the FSH level is fluctuating then that in itself is a bad sign.
BUT a nurse I spoke to told me that 12.5 was high but not REALLY high and was more like borderline normal - your was 12.9? - they are still going ahead with treament and so they clearly think there is a chance - that applies to both of us.
I am surprised that you have not told family and friends - all they worry and anxiety of trying is a lot to carry on your own. I have spent this week chatting and crying with friends and always feel better after.
I think your outlook is a good one though- you have to give it your best shot. I am just worried that seen as I am already doing IVF (begin drugs on April 20th) and seen as they are intending to already put me on near enough the highest dosage of the stimmulation drug that if it does not work I will already be at the end of the road. At 32.

Hi Jenny. I will be in some today. I just got up this morning, but I will say good afternoon to you! I have a recruiting event for work today (have college students in for an event last night and lunch today), so I will be gone until later this afternoon. I know there is conflicting info out there, but I have read that, if your fsh fluctuates, that is better than if it is high all the time. I think I read something about there being more of a chance that good eggs still exist. I am glad you have people that you feel comfortable talking to. The main reason that I haven't told anyone is because, if it doesn't work, I don't want to deal with anyone's pity. I have always been kind of a private person, too. For example, when dh and I decided to get married, we didn't tell anyone (not even our parents) except for my best friend, and we just eloped to Italy! Sometimes I wish my close friends at least knew about everything I am going through, but most of the time I am glad no one knows. It is most difficult with all the appointments and having to miss work. I have to keep making up excuses. Your fsh test was probably accurate like your dr said. It is supposed to be at its highest on day 2 or 3 of the cycle, so I doubt day 1.5 would matter.. In the UK, do you have to pay for ivf out of pocket? I see what you mean now about your cd21 test. It was a progesterone test. I ovulate on my own, but my dr gave me clomid anyway so I would produce more than one follicle on the basis that more follicles would mean more chances. I think there was only one cycle when I just had one follicle. The others I had 2 or 3, but it still didn't work! When did you find out about your fsh test?

Jenny I found this on one of the websites for ivf in Chicago "Young (e.g. under 35) women with elevated FSH levels stimulate better and have a higher pregnancy potential than "older" women." So you at 12.5 and age 32 is better than me at 12.36 at 40. The website is : http://www.advancedfertility.com/day3fsh.htm
and there is a lot of other info on fsh. I take it all with a grain of salt as my cycles don't follow the book ever. It seems all my cycles have reacted differently since I started on fertility drugs. I did do clomid 2 months but it thinned my lining too much. I ovulate regularily but he used it with injections to help build extra eggs due to my age. Unfortunately the side effect of thinning didn't work for me so he cut it out after 2 months of having to put me on estrogen to thicken the lining. I keep hearing the best thing is to relax and each month I seem to do better mentally in some ways and in other ways when I get the "you're not pregnany phone call or the hcg is so low come back in two more days phone calls I get quite sad and depressed. I allow myself 1 day for a pity party and then move on. I have learned how to do visualization and it works well for me for relaxing me and mentally getting my body ready for what it is experiencing. (I found a website about visualization for pregnancy) as well as dh and I took a meditation class and a positive thinking class that also taught the visualization. Anything to keep me de-stressed seems to help. You are right also about the fluctuating levels not being good. Mine dropped to 8 this month and that surprised me. I have also heard of treatments to help ivf patients with manual therapy. look at the website : http://www.clearpassage.com/ivf.htm.... no hyphens etc. if they show up. Also check: read this site. It talks of a blood test that can tell you if your eggs are any good. It's a place in NJ and it says one of only a very few places in the world that does it (but UK is the pioneer of alot of things so youmight be able to find it where you are) it says they can tell you if you need ivf with donor eggs or if you could use your own. I stumbled over......http://www.repro
endo.com/inhibin.htm...onc
e
again no dashes or hyphens if they show up.Right at the end of the page it says it. I have thought I might look into the manual therapy treatment if I feel I have gotten to the end of everything. I am in Canada but have a friend and relative in one of the cities that has it so depending on the cost of it I might fly down and try their 5 day option. You are probably ready for bed now so good night.

Hi Ann - sorry very busy day today. Bit of retail therapy to take my mind off things. I totally understand your decision not to tell people - I wish that I had the discipline that you have. Sometimes I get so worked up inside I just need to let it out by talking it through with someone else.
I think the reason I am getting so worked up is because I am so worried that at any point during the next few stages of IVF I know there is a chance that they are going to stop things and just say there is no furture for me having my own baby.
After my down regulation I have to go for a scan to look at my ovaries. At this point they will be looking to see how follicles there are for them to potentially stimmulate (I think) - at that point they could say there is little potential and turn me away (I think). If I did manage to get through that stage I still may not react to the stimmulation drugs. And if I did manage to get through that.....I get a snese with the other girsl that have written here that you all have several options open and it just feels totally desperate to be hanging by what feels like a fine thead - at my age and after having been 'clear' up to this poitn. Never before did I think it would not happen.

Isa - I just read your response. I can't thank you enough for taking the time to pass this info onto me. Thank you. You will see from the reponse I sent Ann what my state of mind is.
I feel for us all in the situations we are in. We start of wanting to have babies and end up carrying this huge emotional pain and longing with us - where is the justice?! That is why we all respond as we do to websites like this - there is so much release in hearing from other women who are going through the same things. I am addicted to this website and think about you all when I am going through my daily life. I sincrely hope we will all get we are hoping for. Even if I don't get to be the Mummy of my own baby I do hope this pain goes away.

Jenny, it sounds like you are still in shock. I know exactly how you feel. Once all the information settles in, you will deal with everything. Try to focus on doing everything you can to have a baby. You don't want to stress yourself out, if possible. My dr told me that when your ovarian reserve starts to decrease your fsh will fluctuate, and when you are nearing menopause your fsh will be constantly high. So he says fluctuation is a good thing. There is a lot of info on the net that says that as well. I hope you have great results from the stimulation meds. Isa, I read that article you posted about Inhibin-B. That may be an old article, because my RE tested mine. So Jenny, you might want to ask your dr about it if he/she didn't already test yours. Thanks for posting all that info. I can't get the link to work for visualization, but it sounds like a good thing. I internalize everything so much that I know I need to relax.

Here is a site on visualization......http://www.healthylife.ne
t/mind/thehealingpowermind.html
.........no
commas or hyphens if they show up. For affirmations and getting pregnant try..........http://www.menstruation.com.au
/fertility/affirmations.html
........again
no hyphens or commas if they show up. Hope they help. I too have told noone except for one relative about our trying with fertility drugs etc. She is in another country and is pregnant now. I read alot about what people went through after they told people and and decided that I didnt want to have to deal with other people's reactions, and every month having them look at me to see if I look different or like I might be pregnant or even have them as bold as ask. None of my friends know. They all were told when I got married 16 months ago we were going to try and we left it at that. I havent yet decided whether I would tell my child about it so there is no way I could keep that a secret if tons of people know because it would inevitably be told to someone or the child at some point. I also don't want to talk about what I am going through with people because its stressful enough to go to all these appts. and do the shots that I dont want to talk about iit. I am glad for this website for that reason. Ann where in Italy did you go to get married? I am goin next month all over Italy for a much needed vacation.

You are right. I already feel better than when I got the news on Monday. I think that I may say to friends that we have decided to stop trying until next year to give ourselves a break and a bit of breathing space. just to take the heat of us over the next few months. (I still have the support of my sister (pregnant) and my Mum.)
I have read that visualisation is a good thing for women with high fsh and also acupuncture and a herbal remedy called agnus castus. Though the nurse at my current clinic said stick to basic folic acid to ensure that your body absorbs easily without being bombared with lots of vitamin supplements. I use 'pregnacare' not sure if you if you have that in the US?
I will stop being so negative and freting. I am sure that is the last thing you all want to hear. So the reasons for us all to be positive are as follows:
1, We have raised FSH we DO NOT have the menopause - if we did our fsh would be over 40 so we are a long way off.
2, There are so many exceptions to the rule when it comes to getting pregant it is almost as if there is no rule. How many stories do we all have of people telling us they know someone who tried forever, gave up trying and fell preggers?
3, We are all still undergoing treatment and we would have been refused treatment if there was no chance of responding
4, Even if the worst came to the worst and we did not respond to drugs (only me really) There is a still a chance I would get pregnant naturally
5, If the total worst came to the worst we would all have various other options to be mummies - BUT IT WON'T COME TO THAT!
Anyone got any more to add?.....I feel better now. I hope you do too.

I have had a look at the internet today and found many encouraging articles - this particular one I think seemed really even and honest. www.rscbayarea.com/articles/fsh_levels

isa, thanks for the visualization sites. I am going to read up on that today. I got married in a little town called Castellina in Chianti. It is in Tuscany south of Florence. Where are you going in Italy? We only spent 4 days there and have wanted to go back ever since! Jenny, I am glad you are feeling more positive, but if you need to be negative and vent, vent away! This board is great for that. You mentioned acupuncture--I have been getting acupuncture for about 6 weeks not (started with my first injectible cycle). It is relaxing, and my dr said it is good for circulating blood to the pelvic area (good for implantation). My dr said that he encourages acupuncture but doesn't want patients taking herbs with the injectibles. I hope you guys are having a good weekend!

This whole week has been such a journey and I am now starting to come around to be positivie about things. Before I even knew about my fsh results I was listeneing to Mary J Blige talking on the radio she said that life is all about how you handle what is thrown at you. Glass half full and all that. It made me feel better. I have always held on to a quote by shakespeare to remind me to think postive...'there is nothing either good or bad, thinking makes it so'...

Then, we all need lots of positive thinking!! Isa, I read the visualization sites. It sounds like a good idea. I am going to try it as they say plus do it during acupuncture. Thanks!

Is anyone on line? I am having a down moment. Some of the stuff I have read on the net is just so depressing. I don't know if I have the strength to cope with what might be thrown at me when I go through this IVF. I just have this feeling in my stomach that I am going to be told there is no go for me

Jenny, everything will be okay...they told me (FSH 24, remember?) that even we could do IVF and see what happens when they get the eggs in a dish...try not to be so down, your FSH isn't that bad and you're young which is so in your favor...My friend who is 28 had a childhood cancer and had to have chemo...her FSH was high due to the chemo, I think around 26...they did 2 rounds of IVF with one success and then miscarried....now she is 7 months pregnant with a healthy baby boy...it's not as bleak as it seems....HUGS...