find fertility treatments unnatural and creepy?
16 Replies
slowpoke01 - November 27

girls i found this on the best age to get pregnant board under the you can always have kids later..not true thread. i couldnt believe it when i read it and i hope this girl never has to go through infertility at some point because she would never make it. i responded and i was quite mad when i read it like we choose to have to have these treatments yeah right. too bad we all cant just pop a kid out every year how nice would that be? i cant believe how narrow-minded people are out here in this world. can you believe it? too bad that we cant all go kick her butt. i mean who thinks like this a 12 year old? anyway i was so mad when i read this.

Name: ruinous79 | Date: November 22, 2006, 11:20
Answer: While I do think our biological makeup intended for us to conceive and bare children in our twenties, I definitely agree with Suzie Q on: "I think the best age to start ttc is when you are ready". I happened to be ready at a young age. And yes, while people with tons of money do have the advantage of all that fertility tweaking (which I find unnatural and creepy) there is always adoption for loving couples who can't have their own. I know that if number three doesn't happen for us, I would definitely consider adopting. =

Name: Amanda18 | Date: November 22, 2006, 18:59
Answer: You also need TONS of money for adoption. It is NOT cheap! And what's so unnatural and creepy about doing anything in your power to have children? Some people are born with fertility problems, not everyone is lucky enough to be able to stop bc and BAM! I'm not even 20 and certainly don't have tons of money but I have bad problems and needed help getting pregnant and because of attitudes like this I feel like less of a person. So unnatural and creepy. WTF! We cant all look at a penis and pop something out 9 1/2 months later. =

Name: ruinous79 | Date: November 23, 2006, 10:37
Answer: Just my opinion. As far as the price of adoptions, if you can afford to get in vitro fertilization (around $10,000) or other invasive measures, you would likely be able to afford the cost of bringing home a child who has parents that don't want him(some domestic adoptions are as low as $5,000). I'm not saying that taking clomid or other hormones to increase your chances bugs me much, just more drastic procedures. It always cracks me up when I watch A Baby Story or some show and the parents who resorted to such measures express surprise at the "miracle" of their quadruplets. And then they can't even afford to take care of all of them and have to get help from people in their community to help feed and diaper all of them. That's sort of what happens when you mess with nature and I suppose that just bugs me. And, no I certainly don't think someone is less of a woman because they have problems getting pregnant. I actually thought I was infertile at one point in time so I can certainly sympathize. I just feel that if you can afford to play god, you could also afford to adopt. All these pro life women sit on this website and chastise women for having abortions, but instead of actually adopting a child of their own, they feel only their egg is good enough to produce the child of their dreams. It's annoying. =


linds99 - November 27

WTF...This irks me too! These women are "creepy" for thinking this way. Actually, if fertility problems were so "creepy" and "weird" I don't understand why my insurance company would cover IVFs, IUIs, or any of my meds. The insurance does contrary to this, and recognizes infertility as a very important medical problem that can be fixed. We cut up cadavers and take their organs today to keep our loved ones alive who were misfortunate to run into medical problems and want to try to fight to stay alive, what is so wrong about trying to fight to create a life? I don't see insurance companies paying for abortions... Are we playing God by giving someone a transplant or saving a man from a motorcycle accident instead of letting him die "like God would have" without medical intervention? These women who are so narrow minded about infertile women and are just plain ignorant. I know for sure they would think differently if they found out they were "infertile" and needed help...this is not an easy road to be on, nor is it one we chose to be on. I was 'born' with PCOS. It occurs in intra-uterine, when I was developing as a female fetus. I can't help that, but apparently the insurance companies recognize this condition and support the procedures that can possibly remedy it. Nobody is playing God, there is still a lot that REs don't understand... BUT REs actually assist fertilization and leave it up to the woman to do the rest. I am so hurt by these fellow women's statement, they are cruel and narrow-minded.


ROBYN - November 27

Holy crap SLOW we need to take a can of whoop ass out on this chick how dare she say that I am so pissed. Dont entertain her you and all of the rest of us are so much better than her. Sorry we all cant be blessed with insert penis and out pops a kid. I am one of those "freaks" that had to spend money on IVF how dare my husband and I want a child what the hell is wrong with us. Luv ya SLOW


Mega - November 28

Slow--Yes, that's just plain stupid & ignorant for someone to post. As yet another less than fertile type, who to quote Robyn is an IVF freak too, I'd very much like to give that woman a piece of my mind too. I told my DH about that woman's comments tonight & said that I'd love to give her a piece of mind not b/c I think she'd learn something but b/c it would be fun for ME. I really like your counter arguments to that ignorant woman's posting, Linds. Excellent points about insurance companies & also the fight to create life. Slow, thanks for sharing this.


lovemy3 - November 28

Very nasty, lets not her mean spirited comments affect us. That is very cruel, don;'t give her another thought. hugs.


Amysince70 - November 28

Let's get her, girls!!!!!!!!!!!! (Just kidding.)


javidsgirl - November 28

WTF!!!!! someone has had to much crazy


J.D. - November 28

hey jamie! damn what an ignorant and insensitive bee-atch.people just amaze me with the crap that comes out of their mouths.(sigh)i guess i'm a freak what did you say to her? i would have let her have it !!


wantbaby - November 28

Slow, I am totally with you on this. I cannot believe some people are this insensitive. First of all, she needs to mind her business. Let her keep her high moral stand to herself. I am so fuming mad. If not for the fertility meds., I wouldn't be 7 wks pregnant and that woman has no idea how much happiness this has brought into our lives after 7 years of marriage. Some women will never understand. She already has 2 children and she will never be able to fit into our shoes to know what we go through. I wonder if she would stay at home and not get medical attention if she has a health issue. According to her, why fight with nature - its morally right to die with the disease because that is what nature wants! Medicine is afterall, very man-made....


slowpoke01 - November 28

i agree with all of you girls. i mean if we are playing "god" then so are the people who have cancer and do chemo and radiation, so do the people who have heart, liver, lung transplants. she is also playing god by getting medical attention while she was pregnant with the 2 kids. i mean back in the day everyone had their kids at home right? well i guess since she is against people playing god that she stayed home and had her kids, i seriously doubt it. i mean who would say something so hurtful to someone else? what is wrong with people now days, just because they dont understand it they want to criticize or judge it. if you dont understand it then get educated do some research before you open your mouth and insert your foot. anyway thank you girls for being strong women and for fighting for your right to have your own kids without having to jump to adoption because narrow-minded people dont understand the fertility treatments. take care all.


linds99 - November 28

I think Brook Shields wrote about this in her book "Down Came the Rain," as everyone knows, she went through IVF like 6+ times because she had cervical problems and unexplained infertility. Anyway, she was annoyed with people who were like " you should adopt" she was angry because her feeling were "why can't I have my own baby? What is so wrong for me to try to have my own baby? I want my own baby." I read her words and I totally identify with that. Women, most of us, are born with maternal instincts and desire to reproduce and if we can't, I can see how some of us basically feel that we are not a whole woman or a real least that is how I feel. I think i would still feel like that even if I had to adopt and for sure, nothing could help me. This is just a hellish nightmare to go through and either way, my infertility will forever plague me. If I didn't have treatments and never got preggers it would plague me and if I took the chance and had the treatments and still never got would still plague me because I went through all this ordeal for nothing with the drugs. Those narrow-minded people just don't see our sacrafices and torment. I guess you have to live it, to believe it.


slowpoke01 - November 29

linds- i totally understand where you are coming from. the only person who really and truly knows what i have gone through with the ups and downs is my sister. she has went to the iui's and u/s and everything with me. she wants me to have a baby i think worse than i do because she is ready to be an aunt. she said she really sympathizes with the ones who have to go through more than the iuis because she sees what a basketcase i am most of the time when i am running back and forth to doc appointments and all that. she cant stand when people make stupid comments like this girl has made. i mean i think that we are grown and have a right to choose what is best for each of us. i am glad that girl was able to have kids easy it must be nice since most of us will never know what that is like. anyway good luck all and take care.


mommy2josh - November 29

Slow this girl is out of her mind to even post her "opinion". Though an opinion is like an a**hole, everyone has got one, it doesnt give one a right to be an A**HOLE. Adoption is not for everyone, I personally will never entertain an idea of one. One of my maternal aunts was infertile and ended up adopting my cousin, who at his ripe age of 27 is a diagnosed schizophrenic among other mental illnesses. He acts like a child, though he is very sweet and attentive he will not be able to take care of himself when my aunt and uncle die. So sue me for wanting kids from my OWN eggs, where I know my genetic predespositions. My genes are not perfect, but they are mine. May be I sound cruel, but I cant see myself loving an adopted child as much as I love my son. When I look at my son I see my deceased parents and my grandparents and I see me. I wont be able to have that bond with an adopted child. I am really sorry if I offended anyone. I deeply respect people who could adopt and give themselves to those children. Adoption is a generous and selfless act I am incapable of. So I am sorry in again.


linds99 - November 29

mommy2josh, Good for you for being who you are. Some of us infertiles are not cut out for adoption. Actually, my husband and I have personally known 4 couples that have had nightmare adoptions, and that alone freaks me out. I know 3 women that did invitro and they had babies from it. So I think our odds of IVF, (being crazy and creepy as it is) will likely be a positive one as it has for the 3 women we know. As for the horror adoption stories, I'm sure that there are many, countless positive experiences of adoption...I'm sure...But like you said, you just never know what is in store for you in terms of adoption either, just as if you have your own biological baby. It is not just that easy either. One of our friends had their adopted son ripped out of their home after 7 years in a nationally publicized case after the parents decided to get back together and get him back after that many years. Our other friend nearly lost his house after he took a huge loan out against it to do the adoption of a little girl from China, it cost them $27,000, plus air-fare back and forth 6 times and medical expenses that have now amounted to $44,000 since their "adopted daughter" has a club foot. Another family we know adopted their son when he was 4-years old from a drug abuser woman, and he grew up "with issues" only to kill himself in their family room on the day of his 16th Birthday before everyone was coming to their home. And finally, the biggest one was our neighbor that adopted a daughter she was a foster parent for since she was 3 months old was forced to give her to his biological father who didn't know he had a child until she was already 3 years old. These stories are horrible and the worst kind of pain I could imagine. Again, I am not deterring anyone from adoption either,but just as mommy2josh pointed out, it is not for everyone. And it comes with problems too, its not risk free.


slowpoke01 - November 30

linds and mommy2josh-you are so right. yes there are good outcomes on some, but there are also the countless horror stories that you hear or see about adoption. i dont think that i would be able to make it through if i thought that i was getting a child, only to have my heart torn out because someone decided they wanted it back. there are no guarantees to any of it just like ivf, but i think that all women should at least be able to try all of their options before going on to adoption. adoption is a wonderfull thing and it is great, but ivf could be too. i am not against adoption by no means, dh's family have done it all. we are doing iui, he has 2 cousins that are/have gone through ivf and he has 1 cousin that has grown kids and just adopted a little boy last year his mom and dad were both on drugs, and he is slow for his age at doing things, but everyone treats him the same. he also screams day and night and has since he was born. i am sure that they will probably have problems with him later on. also all the kids that have come from ivf none have birth defects or have problems because they were so small when they were born. they are all fine. 1 of dh's cousins had triplets and the other they are just starting ivf. each of us have went down a different path but we all know what the other has gone through just by what we have gone through so it is like we are closer to each other because of it. the thing about it is that dh and his 2 male cousins wives are the ones going through the procedures and the doc said that infertility can be hereditary well evidently it can be because all 3 are males and all 3 have sperm issues. all the women in dh's family are fine it just seems like there is an issue with the men. but it has still made us a closer family and we dont judge anyone because of what route they take to have kids. we are happy for each one who has a kid no matter how they got it. if it brings a little joy to their lives who cares how it happened. you girls are great i wish you all the best of luck.


mommy2josh - November 30

Slow, I agree that people should be supportive of other people despite the different paths we take.


slowpoke01 - November 30

i do too. i think that for most of us that the support that we get is the only thing that keeps us going on most of the time. i know if it hadnt been for all the support i got through the tubal pregnancy that i probably wouldnt be able to go through another iui cycle. anyway i am glad that i have you girls for supprt. take care good luck all



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