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Hello Ladies! JCR - Wow 33 weeks now. I am sure I am not alone in the "can't wait" category!! Hope your back itsn't too bad. CC - not too much longer for you. Just praying and praying!! TRACY - I wish that I had poas when I had the hcg in my system. I for sure will never see me get a positive hpt. SHAUNA - grab those naps when you can girl. I am so tired from traveling and then Johnny sleeping in the car and being wide awake when we got home! He had his orthopedic appt today and the Dr. says to just give it time and his feet may straighten themselves out, being that he was a late walker that is just how he knows how to balance himself at this point. He is a little "knock-kneed" though but it is just something to keep an eye on. No signs of CP so that is really great news!! Now we have just one more major Dr. appt in October for his indepth evaluation. I am going to get him started in speech therapy before that though. Well, not much else going on.

Hey ladies. I just wanted to pop in to say that I will be without internet for 2 weeks after tomorrow morning. I just know I am going to miss some BFPs too!! So someone email me if there are some. [email protected]. Lori, I am so happy for you about Johnny. Things seem to be going really well for him. CC, are you sure you don't want to poas????? J/K. I guess I will just have to wait for 2 weeks to find out. Shauna it is good to hear from you. Tracy, I hope you are feeling better today. Sometimes men are insensitive. I am really hoping that Chris does better this pregnancy than last time. He assures me that he will since he knows what to expect. I remember once he told me he wanted his wife back. Yeah, that made me cry. Oh well, looking back I am sure I was being unreasonable, but at the time I just couldn't help it. Check back later.

I'm not trying to make all my posts lately all about me, but I had a bombshell dropped on me a little while ago. I was in the car on my way to begin my errands, when DH called me and told me his brother's wife just got a positive pregnancy test. I cried my heart out and and I know I'm not done yet. Mind you, this is the brother who ragged on my husband when he learned we were having TTC troubles. Right now I am just numb and not one thing in this world matters to me. Not one thing.

Tracy, that really hurts doesnt it? Im going to try to the positive approach..Just think, in a short amount of time, you may be joining her in the bfp club. I know that doesnt help right now, and even though it isnt a competition, within families, it sort of is. Not that this is on the same level, but if it makes you feel any better, my dh and I got into an arguement over what we were eating for dinner of all things. He actually called me a bitch, and the sad thing was, he was right, I was being one, knew it, and didnt even care. I am certain Im pms'ing in overdrive right now, the progesterone wont let my af come. Im frustrated, and all those thing too. Hang in there. You dont know if this IUI was what you and dh needed, and the stress you are feeling isnt good for implantation, etc. Just try to relax, and much as you can, and be happy for her. I know its hard.
EMM, we will miss you! If we have good news, someone will let you know, I'll be sure of it! Take care of yourself! Lori, good news about Johnny and his little feets! You sound as though you are doing all the right things for him, and Im happy you both found each other in this world. I give you more credit then you know!

just stopping in real quick..school is UGH....i am so tired. CC, cannot wait to find out. positive thoughts chick...i know it is happening. when i got my BFP, i also thought it was PMS bad and even made the comment if AF did not show soon i was going to kill someone. so, don;t think pms just yet. TRACY, sorry to hear about the news but your turn is coming. SHAUNA, nice to hear from you. LORI, glad Johnny is doing so well in your care. it is nice to know not just nature plays a role in life. EMM, keep us posted on the move and don;t carry heavy items. JCR...33 wks huh....wow. i wish i was that close. i would love to see our little baby. keep us posted about thursday appointment. D, i am thinking of you. well, i am tired and need to think about dinner....CC and LORI, BB is on tonight.

Ok Tracy, how is this for being somewhat in the same boat you are..You asked me to keep you updated on Twiggy's beta results..Well, she got her bfp, and her beta was high, they are thinking it could be twins. That makes 2 bfp's on my IVF thread, for both girls who were ahead of me, both of them possibly having twins. Im happy for them, but sad I may have to break the cycle, since Im the next beta. They could be having not 1, but 2. I know, not the same as a SIL, but Im feeling it. I just want you to be feeling better. I know there isnt anything I can say, but just know there are lots of us in the same boat. XOXOX

See CC, that's why I thank the universe every day that I found you girls and this thread. We go through the same crap and can relate. I'm happy for Twiggy, as I know you are too, but of course it always leaves you wondering, "Why everybody else and not me?" I know you will have your turn. Just as much as you know I will have mine, so don't despair my friend. I was looking up some Buddhist proverbs to try to get myself to understand what it is I am supposed to do and learn from all this, so that I can find peace within myself, and I found one so far that was short and sweet that kind-of tells me to keep going........"Try and fail, but don't fail to try." All we can do is keep trying and find peace with the fact that we haven't given up, and have not failed to try, or strive, for our dream. I will have a new one for you tomorrow. I think if I read and pass on what makes me think differently, or feel better about the nature of things, that maybe someone else will feel better in the process. I hope to bring peace to your heart, just as I know you want to bring peace to mine. I hope this doesn't sound corny, but I know what you are going through for the most part and am trying to make some sense of this universe just as you are. I'll be thinking about you, and here if you need to chat.

Tracy, maybe your Buddest proverbs will help us all out. I liked the one you used today...But, you are right. We cant give up. Ever, until we get what we want. What would have happened if Lynn, or even Lori, or EMM, D, jcr, any of us for that matter would have given up. Not a damn thing! We will perservere and remain DETERMINED! (I didnt space the title of the thread right, and have a space after the 1st 2 "@@" but not after the last 2 "@@" which bugs me)..Anyway..Keep chugging. People are going to be getting pregnant, all around you sometimes, and thats a fact. Hell, I have friends that have newborns, to 1 1/2 year olds, since we have been trying. Im happy for them, you just have to be. Dont let this make you bitter. I dont even know what Im saying, your in a 2ww after an IUI and have no reason to think this didnt work!! I was feeling good that I still havent seen a spot of AF, even though I know the progesterone can hold it at bay..I just thought since I was on progesterone for my IUI's and spotted and have AF while on it, before my beta..Well, I was feeling good I havent seen her. Then I remember that I have read a million times, a lot of times AF is late after IVF, even w/ a bfn. So, I guess not seeing her is still good, but at the end of the day, doesnt mean crap.
I only have 3 more sleeps until my fate is known, and its taking all I have not to hpt. I can do it.

Here is one for today......or at least this hour........"Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished." (Lao Tzu) This quote really seems to sum up what all of us have gone through, even those with BFP's. We can't rush nature, it will accomplish what it needs to in its own time. In our case, we can help it along can't we?

CC--you are so close to testing I know how hard this must be for you. I found a website that I love, which is where I am getting my inspiration from, and when I find that I am starting to think too much, feel sad for myself, or jealous I go to it to find things that jump out at me. Then I write them down! Here is the link. There are quotes from everyone on there, not just Buddha. http://en.thinkexist.com/quotes/top/

hi ladies... I only have a second to post but wanted to send out good thoughts and hugs to CC and TRACY (I like the Buddhist quotes) and say hi to everyone else... I'll write more tomorrow.

Hi ladies. Just want to let those in the 2ww to know that I am still thinking and praying for you!! CC and TRACY, I know where the two of you are in your cycles, but not sure about the others. SHAUNA, VAL and ANDREA, what about all of you. CC - you are so close to your test date! Just want you to know that my nerves are on edge right along with you. Seriously, I am not a nut case, but I do know that everyone on this thread deserves a BFP and that is just a fact!! What is everyone doing for Labor Day? DH has me "almost" talked into a biker picnic for the weekend.... and one day will be spent at the in-laws. They haven't seen Johnny for quite some time. Not much else going on. Just thinking of ALL of you!

Hi everyone, thanks for all the well wishes and thoughts for Friday. I wish I could remain positive. I had cramps so bad last night, they woke me up on two different occasions. Thats never happened before. I think AF is knocking on my door, but the meds wont let her in.
Tracy thanks for the link and quote for today..I will have to save the link to my favorites for my time of need, which seems like everyday right now. How are you doing today? Lori, your Labor Day plans sound like fun. We are out of town Friday-Wednesday to my in-laws. Looking forward to getting away.

CC-keep your chin up girlie!!! Those cramps could be great signs, the only one who really knows is the grand architect of the universe and he ain't talking. I'm praying for you, and I know so many people are. I have no plans for the holiday next weekend. All my family stuff and business is going to start around the 14th, and I will be going to NY and Vermont at the end of the month. Love you guys. Just got home from work, so going to change and watch a movie with DH.

i am going to make one comment and whoever can take something away from it GREAT. for years i have always had the thought, why not me everytime someone around me got a BFP. hell, in my line of work, i have seen so many children being put up for adoption or even just in custody of DSS and often thought, why did god let them have this child and give him/her up. it is normal for all of us to have those feelings and to either hold them in and let it eat at you or let people know your human and are disappointed. in my 3+ years of trying, dh and i began TTC in Jan. of 2003 (prior to wedding cause i was told it might take me a while) we have given up for a month, sometimes 2 and once we even took a 6 month break with no success. that is normal also to "give up". my only thought of giving up was i was letting myself down from having the chance to experience a child loving you. when i gave up this last time in April, my thought was if nothing happened, i was going to look into giving one of the many children i hear about (and Lori, i admire you) in the custody of DSS a good home. i was fortunate, lucky and blessed my time finally came for me to get my BFP. i know this chance is out there for everyone who gives it a chance. after this....i still in my heart want to talk to dh about giving a child in DSS custody a chance at a good home. i don't know if this means anything but girls......i know we all hate hearing it but....it will happen. i know it will.

Lynn, your words meant so much. It's funny that you said how you can either let it eat you up or let others know you are disappointed. I knew there would come a point when my mother or sister in law would call me and ask me how I was handling the news, and I thought, "I can fake it and make them believe I am fine with other SIL's pregnancy, or I can be honest and be myself." Well, My husband's sister just called me (I love her) and asked how I was doing with it all, and I said I am very happy for "brother" and his wife, but cried my heart out nonetheless. I told her I am stuck in self pity mode and trying to find the light. She said, you are going to be PG soon because it seems that my brothers always do things at the same time. She was very supportive and said she can't even imagine how bad it must feel, but she thought of me right away when she heard the news because she knew I'd be hurting. She is flying us out to New York near the end of the month, on her dime, because she likes me so much. She would NEVER do that for her other brother's wife, she doesn't even like to have her around, and the only reason she is happy about this pregnancy is because she loves her brother. Well today I am a whopping 3dpiui. CC-I know you must be practically looney about now. I have been thinking of you and praying to every deity I can for you! My fingers toes and legas have been crossed too. Oh, and I also keep thinking about you because I am now in pantyliner hell. I have to do the vaginal progesterone suppositories, so sorry, it keeps reminding me of how happy you were to be out of pantyliner land. Lynn, thanks again for the pep talk. You know firsthand how hard this journey is to make. I read another quote that said something like, " A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step."