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Man, I don't know if it's from the clomid or what, but depression set in again today. All positiveness went right out the window. Lynn, you lost more weight? Yipeeeeeeee!!!!! You go girl.

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Well, finally I have some news..My auth got approved to see the RE. Of course by time I called to make an appointment, they were already closed for the day, so hopefully on Monday I will have a date to look forward too. Whooo hooo! I think it will help my spirts for now to look towards the future and have renewed hope that we can be helped...I will be mia until Sunday, I am co-hosting a bridal shower (thankfully its not a baby shower, that I dont think I could handle now) all day tomorrow..I'll try to check in later.

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Tracy, sorry to hear you are down again. When you feel like this is is specifically towards ttc, or other things..Do something great for yourself tonight/tomorrow and feel better!

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I was thinking of getting that home test for my dh. Drs suck i said that last week. Feb 6 is so far away. Sorry that i have been quiet but you all know how i am feeling right now. I hope everyone is well. Anyone starting their 2ww yet? Baby Dust and Happy Thoughts

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CC-I think I feel overwhelmed by so many things right now, I don't know what to do. I have some changes I need to make in my life and making such changes is harder than it seems. Since my cholesterol is high I need to focus more on my diet and I also HAVE to start an exercise regimen, which is hard to do when you are depressed and feel hopeless. I know exercise will make me feel better, but getting started is the bitch. I need to quit smoking for so many reasons, so today I threw my cigarettes away and made it a couple hours before starting to freak out. When DH came home, I copped out and had some of his. I don't know how to beat this one without intervention. I am dedicated to stopping though, so I know I've taken the first step. I'm angry that I am a slave to this and feel I should have the power to stop it. I'm just angry period. I told my mom on the phone today that I had spoken with a nutritionist and she got mad at me for wanting to throw my money away when my diet is something I am smart enough to do on my own. I told her if I had someone who could help me, I think it would be easier to plan my meals etc... I just didn't get the positive energy from my mom that I was hoping for and felt like she brought me down. I cried when I got off the phone with her and haven't really stopped yet. You said to do something nice for myself, but anything I want to do I cannot afford. I could go for some acupuncture, a massage, or maybe even getting a few sessions in with a personal trainer. Anyway, CC-I'm so glad you finally got your approval. Yeah!!!!!!!! D--I am now officially 2 dpo and in the TWW, hoping at the end of this cycle for some good news from one or more of us. I can say that I am glad I have you all to fight this battle with and would love to hear one of you got a BFP.

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Tracy, I am sending you a HUGE hug. I know how you feel. I am sorry that your Mom wasn't more supportive. We all know how to eat better, but a nutritionist is a good idea to keep you motivated and maybe give some new ideas. I think that is a really great idea. As far as smoking, I have never had the problem, but I have heard it is a hard habit to break. My fingers are crossed for you! Starting monday let's work together-I am seriously addicted to sugar-so let's cut back on our two vices together. I know yours is much harder than mine, but we could at least support each other. As far as doing something nice for yourself, you can keep it cheap. Light some candles and get some good bubble bath and induldge. Also try to find some yoga classes, they always help me want to lead a healthier lifestyle. It is wonderful. Remember Rome wasn't built in a day and this is going to take time. You are going to take steps forward and back...but don't be too hard on yourself when you take steps back. That is when I over induldge. Let go of the guilt and try to listen to your body. CC, I am excited about your trip to RE. I will probably head down your way tuesday and back on wednesday, so if you want to try to meet let me know! Lynn congrats on the weightloss it feels great doesn't it!! d, hang in there and do not relapse. I had an eating disorder for years, and I think it is more about control than body image. When our life starts spinning out of our control-food is the one thing we can control. I remember how I thought it felt good to go to sleep at night being hungry-it's like I was pulling one off on my body. Hang in there. The 1st half on your cycle is an up hill battle the last part is the roller coaster. So I hope we all get the big down hill with BFP;s along the way!! Lori, about your dental work-take care of your gums, they get worse when you get pg, also if you are close to a dental school they can do good work for a fraction of the cost, it just takes longer to do the proceedures. Also a lot of offices will let you make payments. Thanks for being such wonderful and supportive women. It's going to be so exciting for us all to listen to our stories of BFP's, birth and then the precious baby stories! Hang in there we can do it. BIG HUG AND BELLYRUBS!

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JCR-Thanks for all the positive support.I'm so willing to try anything at this point to start making changes. I will try baby steps. I think my biggest hurdle is the smoking. I know I don't smoke much, but letting it go makes me very irritable and then I get depressed. I hate the thought of cancer though and don't want to end up a statistic so I think if I can forewarn DH, he'll be able to put up with the withdrawl symptoms. I don't know how to handle the cravings though. They are hard to explain, but you get a tightness in your throat and chest that almost makes it seem like it's harder to breathe, then when you finally smoke, the sensation goes away. I want to be honest with my OB so he can recommend some help or something, but I feel like I've been dishonest with him, and don't want to eat shit after losing his confidence. It would be like smoking crack and being busted by your mom. Yikes. You are truly a great cheerleader and have given some great strategies, now I need to implement some of them. Have faith in me. I have faith in you. I found a great snack in the health food store that really helped get me away from sugary snacks. They are called "Fruity Sunhats" by Seitenbacher. They are like fruity, little, gummyish things shaped like hats. They have no preservatives, etc... and are made with real fruit. I no longer crave candy or cookies as long as those are around. My favorite flavors are strawberry and cherry.

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Oh yeah, and a big hug right back at ya!

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CC - That's great news that you finally got your approval!! You must feel a weight lifted off your shoulders. Have a great time with the bridal shower!! EMM - Your DH has a right to his medical records. Although some may be diffierent - the office that i worked for, if someone wanted a copy of something specific, we made that copy right then and there and handed it to them. Just food for thought. Speaking of food, Tracy - a nutrionist is a wonderful idea, I think I will have to steal it from you and seek one out myself. If I could have someone hand me a menu and say "follow this to the letter", I know that I could do it. Just like those diets that give you the meals already prepared. (But those are too expensive for me). D - I am on cd 20 and putting myself at 5 dpo. I hope you are feeling better today!! JCR - You gave Tracy a great pep talk!! It even helped me!! Thanks!! How is everything going with you?? Lynn - You are doing great on your wait loss!! Well ladies, Take Care!!

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Good morning! Here is a wierd question for you-I took hcg shot friday and do not have very much ewcm??? Which is strange for me-I had quite a bit thursday but not so much last night?? I think I may have ovulated on my own on thursday, but bd'd wed and friday, is it ok??? Belly rubs and hugs.

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jcr...you may have on your own and if so...you may have covered the O with BDing on Wednesday/Friday. I would BD tonight if it is not too late. I am taking shot tomorrow morning and RE said to BD Sunday, Monday and Tuesday. We did today incase I O on my own. I am going to need a miracle for this one girls. Follies on right and no tube to deliver it. UGH....CC, yeah on approval...let us know when your appointment is. Ask tons of questions when you go. I googled a website that actually had question to ask at your first appointment with a fertility specialist. Has hubby had a SA? Well, girls, some of us are going to begin our TTW so we need huge support. Someone os going to get that BFP if not more than one this month. Good luck girls.....

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Lynn, fingers crossed for those eggs to find their way down!! I am having strange cramps today, so thinking it may be o??? I have no idea. But we have only missed thursday night bding this week and are going to keep it up until monday. I start progesterone supositories (sp?) on Monday night. Has anyone used them?? I had spotting with Ryley and m/c'd early on #2, so hoping this will take care of it. I guess tomorrow I'll consider 1dpo? So my Dr told me to test 10 dpo, so I'll keep my fingers crossed and belly rubbed. hugs.

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So now I think we are all officially in the TWW. I am like 3 or 4 dpo. I swore I wasn't going to go crazy this month, so you'll probably have to stop me from overanalyzing all these clomid symptoms! There's hope and fear in the air. I need a miracle soon!

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So I think today is the big o?? I finally have ewcm and am ready to go. It's kind of exciting actually knowing I am ovulating, I should have done this months ago!!! yeay! Well ladies, I am going to hold of for the 10 days to hpt test. Yes, I can do it this month. Wow, that means I may get by under the 17 tests I predicted I would pee on! Bellyrubs.

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HI ladies it is me. I hope everyone is well. Sorry it took me so long to check in. I am hanging in there and dreading the drs appt on monday. Baby Dust and Happy Thoughts

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d.....don't dread the appointment. This a chance for you to get answers or at least be able to ask questions and see what they say. I guess after being followed by an RE for almost 2 years, I welcome the chance to go and ask my questions. jcr.....the HcG shot is exactly like Oing except the drug did it instead of your body. Have you never taken the shot before? I have not taken the supp. I have taken oral progestrone called prometrium. My new RE does not believe in that therapy so he will not prescribe. However, I do have a prescription from previous attempts at getting pregnant. I will fight that battle when and if I get a BFP. I have not begun my dpo it will not take place until Monday. I am the late bloomer of the bunch. talk to y'all tomorrow....

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