Some couples start off on their journey to parenthood almost by accident. It seems they only have to decide to get pregnant and it happens right away. They don't seem have to think about when to have sex, sex positions for conception or how frequently they should have sex. Watching friends and acquaintances get pregnant easily can be very frustrating for a couple that has been trying for several months to conceive. If this is you, it could be that there are some basic changes you could make to your sex life which would improve your chances.
Some couples may feel inadequate because they have to regulate their sex lives in order to get pregnant. They fear that an act which symbolizes their love and is usually done for pleasure might become part of a mechanical process necessary for getting pregnant. It doesn't have to be that way. With some effort and planning, the romantic element of conception sex can certainly be kept alive. And as for all those couples who seem to just get pregnant with no effort at all – who knows what's really going on behind their closed bedroom doors? Unfortunately, there is a certain stigma in our society when to comes to fertility problems. An increasing number of couples are experiencing difficulties getting pregnant - perhaps not all of them want to admit to it.
Timing Of Sex
Having sex when you are ovulating increases your chances of getting pregnant. Usually on day 12 to 14 of your menstrual cycle, your pituitary gland (in the brain) stimulates your ovaries into releasing an egg. The egg travels into one of the fallopian tubes where it has an approximately 24-hour window to be fertilized by sperm. Sperm usually survives between three and seven days inside a woman's body after sex. This means that regular sex in the week before ovulation and at the time you're ovulating gives you a significant fertility boost. Read our section on monitoring fertility for tips on how you can know you are ovulating.
Fertility experts say that regular conception sex, two to three times a week is what it takes for a healthy couple to conceive. Having sex at this frequency means that a woman whose reproductive system is functioning normally is likely to have live sperm inside her while she is ovulating. At the time of ovulation itself, sex once a day is recommended.
How Much Is Too Much?
According to the experts, if both the man and the woman are in excellent reproductive health, there is no such thing as too much conception sex (providing both parties have the energy). It's worth bearing in mind that overdoing it at the beginning of your attempts to get pregnant might make you feel less like having regular sex later on, which could be counterproductive.
There are circumstances in which it's possible for a couple with fertility problems to have too much sex. For example, a man with a low sperm count runs the risk of lowering that sperm count further if he ejaculates more than a two to three times a week. You should speak to your doctor if you have any concerns.
Although it's important to keep doing the things you enjoy about your sex life, there are certain sex positions which can increase or decrease your chances of conception. Remember that gravity works against you, therefore positions with the woman on top of or straddling her partner, or standing up, may reduce the possibility of a pregnancy resulting from that intercourse. The missionary position appears to be the best for getting pregnant. Some women are also told to stay lying down after sex with their hips slightly elevated and thus use gravity to help the sperm on their way.
Maintaining Sex Drive
Keeping the romance and excitement in conception sex can be a challenge. Try not to forget that sex is a pleasurable act. If you enjoy woman-on-top sex positions, alternate between these at times in your cycle when you are less likely to be fertile and the missionary position in the week before ovulation and while you are ovulating. Although you may have to adjust your schedule somewhat, don't completely give up your individual hobbies and the things you enjoy doing together. Go on "dates," go out walking, go away for the weekend, take vacations, etc.